On My Own...

For the first time in my life I can actually say Im on my own...Im in a new city where I hardly know anybody and for the most part I have to do a lot of stuff on my own that I didn't have to do in the past. That's part of growing up and being an adult, I know. All I can say is this shit is hard. I truely don't know how women with multiple kids can do so much on their own, all power to you ladies.

I really wish that I had more emotional support from the people that I'm close to right now. I mean I'm always there for so many people when they have issues but who's here for me? Who do I call when I just need to vent? Who's shoulder do I cry on when the tears are flowing from my eyes? Who's there for me when I need someone to lay next to me? Who's there for me to help me clear my head? Who's there for me to help me up from this fall? Who's there for me when I need more than money? Who's here to make a little time for me when I need an adult around(I mean I love my daughter but spending every free moment with her is driving me insane. I swear Im gonna turn into a 3 year old)?

Now before ya'll start this depend on yourself shit or put it in God's hands keep it. I dont want to hear it. I'm here for me but sometimes I'm not enough and as far as God goes as much as I've asked for I haven't seen anything yet. I need other people. I can do this alone but Im sure my mental state of being will suffer. Im not trying to be a crazy mad woman. Each day I feel myself becoming more bitter and that's not how I want to be.

I believe in my heart that everything will be ok and things will start to move in the direction that I hope them to go in but right now I'm just lost. Im trying to pick myself up but some days it's like why? Im not giving up though because Im a fighter. I just need to practice patience and it'll be ok in time.

A Slave To You I'll No Longer Be

I lay in the bed curled up in a ball with my hands covering my head
The rage in your voice has you hoarse
The fear in my heart has me thinking that what I did wasn't so smart
Suddenly you start
You start to say I'm not beautiful
You start to say Im worthless
You start to say that no one would ever love me
These are the things you start to say but I got up and walked the other way
No longer will I be a slave to you
You no longer have mentally trapped
Today I am free and that's how I'll continue to be

Ummm...I don't get it!!!

Ok so I'm new to this whole blogging thing but not to writing/expressing my thoughts and feelings. Bare with me on the look of this I'll figure it out soon enough. Trial and error will be the best thing I guess. So I'm gonna get back to figuring out this. Toodles..lol

Introduction of Me!!!

Through my journey called life I've been through so much and will continue to go through much more. I just wanna let you guys in on this journey and perhaps help a few people get through personal struggles or just make it through the day. As humans each and everyone of us has flaws. To be a man of God one must be able to forgive. My biggest struggle thus far is forgiveness but its a work in progress. As I let u in a little you'll begin to understand my struggle. I'm not a bitter bitch but a lot of people who have been down my road are. I'm silly, laid back, blunt, sometimes shy, a lil ghetto, and honest. I'm a mother, sister, daughter, lover, fighter and a strong black woman. I have many thoughts, stories, poems and essays that i'll share with you. I most certainly welcome feedback and criticism.